Troubleshooting your relationship

Although not everyone acts out middle-age angst in such a way, many of us do experience a reckoning or longing as we approach midlife, the feeling of hitting a wall and wondering if there isn't more to life -- and in, particular, to marriage.

I often see this phenomenon in my own practice, as one or both partners begin to question their relationship. Even in younger couples, disagreements over classic issues such as finances, parenthood and sex can lead to concerns that they may not be on the same page regarding many of life's greatest stressors and demands.

But are such couples headed for divorce, or are they simply mired in difficulties that could be better navigated together?

Develop your communication skills

Good communication is key,  not just the ability to discuss critical relationship issues but to know what you want and express that. We get hung up on the idea of having a lot in common with a potential partner. That's all well and good, but your ability to communicate in a healthy way is more important.

You might be uncomfortable expressing your needs and desires at first, but learning how is the single most beneficial step you can take. And you'll probably save yourselves some unnecessary arguments when you realize that you can't expect your partner to be a mind-reader.

Work on yourself

It's tempting to expect our partners to change to suit our preferences, but the tough work in marriage starts with yourself: If you don't know what you want or how to articulate that, how can you expect your partner to know? Work at it on your own or with a therapist to learn how to express your emotions.

I'm suggesting a paradigm shift in the way we view relationships, It's not all about your partner -- it's about changing yourself, too.

Talk about big issues early on

Of course, when you're newly in love, hashing out finances is hardly sexy. Money seems far too mundane to discuss for couples in the first blush of romance, but it can be a huge source of stress. Good communication skills will help you talk sooner rather than later about difficult subjects, including financial concerns.

Learn to listen

Self-awareness and self-responsibility are critical ingredients to a successful marriage.

Even if you're still in the process of working on your own issues, simply expressing that to your partner can make a difference in your relationship.

For instance, if you tend to interrupt your partner or act dismissive of their feelings, you can acknowledge that you're aware of the problem and are trying to change. You can say, 'I know that how I act affects you, I'm sorry, and I'm working on it,' .

Your partner will feel heard and understood -- and that's what we all want.

Redefine success

If you've both given it your best shot and have concluded that you're not just in a rough patch, there's no shame in parting ways.

Not every divorce is a failure.

Some divorcing couples understand each other better than some married couples do. If you can come to a compassionate and responsible decision about your relationship, sometimes that's better for everyone.

"The Rough Patch" can be beneficial for both single people and couples.

SpaceX poised to launch ‘world’s most powerful rocket’

SpaceX is poised for the first test launch Tuesday of its Falcon Heavy, which aims to become the world’s most powerful rocket in operation, capable of reaching the Moon or Mars some day.

The launch, scheduled for 1:30 pm (1830 GMT) from Cape Canaveral, Florida, is the most ambitious yet for SpaceX, and has been hailed by industry experts as a game-changer because of its potential to propel the California-based company to the very forefront of the modern day space race. “NASA may decide to use it (the Falcon Heavy) as a way of fast-tracking its plans to get to the Moon and Mars,” Erik Seedhouse, assistant professor of applied aviation sciences at Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University, told AFP.

Tuesday’s launch is a “huge deal, even for a spaceflight company that routinely accomplishes huge deals,” said Jason Davis of the Planetary Society, describing the Falcon Heavy as “mythical.” No people are on board, just a mannequin wearing a futuristic spacesuit, strapped into CEO Elon Musk’s very own cherry red Tesla car. “Starman in a Red Roadster,” Musk posted on Instagram Monday, showing the rocket’s payload on a pedestal, aiming skyward. Musk has also said David Bowie’s hit “Space Oddity” would play in the vehicle during the launch.

An animated video released by SpaceX to preview the launch showed all three rocket boosters returning to upright landings on Earth, while the car and mannequin emerged from the protective nose cone and sailed into orbit. The car is destined for an elliptical orbit around the Sun, taking it into the vicinity of Mars. “At times, it will come extremely close to Mars, and there is a tiny, tiny chance that it will hit Mars,” Musk told reporters. “Extremely tiny.” Musk reiterated his warning that the maiden launch of the Falcon Heavy — a project he first unveiled in 2011 — may indeed fail. It may even explode on the launchpad. “I would consider it a win if it just clears the pad and doesn’t blow the pad to smithereens,” he said.

There is also a chance the Tesla might not make it beyond low-Earth orbit. First it has to go through the violent Van Allen belt where it will be pummeled by charged particles for about six hours. “It is going to get whacked pretty hard,” Musk said. Even if there is a disaster Tuesday, Seedhouse said it is unlikely to harm the reputation of SpaceX — already a top cargo supplier to the International Space Station under a $1.6 billion contract with NASA and busy with a steady stream of satellite clients and government payloads. “Last year, they had more launches than any other country in the world — never mind any other company,” Seedhouse said. “Every failure they have had they have bounced straight back.” – Most powerful in operation – The Falcon Heavy is essentially three Falcon 9 rockets in one, with a total of 27 Merlin engines.

These engines “together generate more than five million pounds of thrust at liftoff, equal to approximately eighteen 747 aircraft,” said SpaceX. The 230-foot (70-meter) tall rocket is designed to carry nearly 141,000 pounds (64 metric tonnes) into orbit, more than the mass of a fully loaded 737 jetliner. Although SpaceX has said the Falcon Heavy was “designed from the outset to carry humans into space and restores the possibility of flying missions with crew to the Moon or Mars,” the plans for it to one day carry people appear to have changed. Musk said another massive rocket under development, called BFR — short for “Big Fucking Rocket” — may be the one to transport crew, while Falcon Heavy may be reserved for equipment.

In any case, when the Falcon Heavy lifts off, “it will be the most powerful operational rocket in the world by a factor of two,” SpaceX said. The Falcon Heavy is designed to lift more than twice the payload of the next closest operational vehicle, the Delta IV Heavy, at a far lower cost. The Delta IV Heavy costs about $350 million per launch, according to United Launch Alliance.

SpaceX’s Falcon Heavy starts around $90 million. “That is way, way, way below anything else in the government launch industry,” Seedhouse said. Previous rockets that are no longer in commission have been more powerful than the Falcon Heavy — including the Saturn V moon rocket, last flown in 1973, which delivered more payload to orbit. The Soviet era Energia, which flew twice in 1987 and 1988, was also more powerful than the Falcon Heavy. The United States has been unable to send its own astronauts to space since 2011, when the 30-year shuttle program ended, leaving the world’s astronauts to rely on Russian Soyuz rockets for transport to the International Space Station.

NASA is building its own massive rocket, called the Space Launch System, but costs are high and the project is years away from completion. Musk said he was feeling “giddy” about Tuesday’s launch, and was not feeling the dread and anxiety he usually experiences ahead of time. “It is guaranteed to be exciting, one way or another. Either it is going to be an exciting success or an exciting failure,” he told reporters. “I’d say tune in. It is going to be worth your time.” A live webcast of the launch is scheduled to begin around 1:00 pm (1800 GMT) on SpaceX.com.

Read more at: https://www.vanguardngr.com/2018/02/spacex-poised-launch-worlds-powerful-rocket/
Read more at: https://www.vanguardngr.com/2018/02/spacex-poised-launch-worlds-powerful-rocket/

Read more at: https://www.vanguardngr.com/2018/02/spacex-poised-launch-worlds-powerful-rocket/

8 Bad Habits You Must Break To Be More Productive



Nothing sabotages your productivity quite like bad habits. They are insidious, creeping up on you slowly until you don’t even notice the damage they’re causing.

Bad habits slow you down, decrease your accuracy, make you less creative, and stifle your performance. Getting control of your bad habits is critical, and not just for productivity’s sake. A study found that people who exercise a high degree of self-control tend to be much happier than those who don’t, both in the moment and in the long run.

“By constant self-discipline and self-control you can develop greatness of character.” –Grenville Kleiser

Some bad habits cause more trouble than others, and the eight that follow are the worst offenders. Shedding these habits will increase your productivity and allow you to enjoy the positive mood that comes with increased self-control.

1. Using your phone, tablet or computer in bed. 

This is a big one that most people don't even realize harms their sleep and productivity. Short-wavelength blue light plays an important role in your mood, energy level, and sleep quality. In the morning, sunlight contains high concentrations of this blue light. When your eyes are exposed to it directly, the blue light halts production of the sleep-inducing hormone melatonin and makes you feel more alert. In the afternoon, the sun's rays lose their blue light, which allows your body to produce melatonin and start making you sleepy.

By the evening, your brain doesn’t expect any blue light exposure and is very sensitive to it. Most of our favorite evening devices—laptops, tablets, televisions, and mobile phones—emit short-wavelength blue light, and in the case of your laptop, tablet, and phone, they do so brightly and right in your face. This exposure impairs melatonin production and interferes with your ability to fall asleep as well as with the quality of your sleep once you do nod off. As we’ve all experienced, a poor night’s sleep has disastrous effects upon productivity. The best thing you can do is to avoid these devices after dinner (television is OK for most people as long as they sit far enough away from the set).

2. Impulsively surfing the Internet. 

It takes you 15 consecutive minutes of focus before you can fully engage in a task. Once you do, you fall into a euphoric state of increased productivity called flow. Research shows that people in a flow state are five times more productive than they otherwise would be. When you click out of your work because you get an itch to check the news, Facebook, a sport’s score, or what have you, this pulls you out of flow. This means you have to go through another 15 minutes of continuous focus to reenter the flow state. Click in and out of your work enough times, and you can go through an entire day without experiencing flow.

3. Perfectionism.

Most writers spend countless hours brainstorming characters and plot, and they even write page after page that they know they’ll never include in the book. They do this because they know that ideas need time to develop. We tend to freeze up when it’s time to get started because we know that our ideas aren’t perfect and what we produce might not be any good. But how can you ever produce something great if you don’t get started and give your ideas time to evolve? .
“You can edit a bad page, but you can’t edit a blank page.”- Author Jodi Picoult

4. Meetings. 

Meetings gobble up your precious time like no other. Ultra-productive people avoid meetings as much as humanly possible. They know that a meeting will drag on forever if they let it, so when they must have a meeting they inform everyone at the onset that they’ll stick to the intended schedule. This sets a clear limit that motivates everyone to be more focused and efficient.

5. Responding to emails as they arrive. 

Productive people don’t allow their email to be a constant interruption. In addition to checking their e-mail on a schedule, they take advantage of features that prioritize messages by sender. They set alerts for their most important vendors and their best customers, and they save the rest until they reach a stopping point in their work. Some people even set up an autoresponder that lets senders know when they’ll be checking their e-mail again.

6. Hitting the snooze button. 

When you sleep, your brain moves through an elaborate series of cycles, the last of which prepares you to be alert at your wake up time. This is why you’ll sometimes wake up right before your alarm clock goes off—your brain knows it’s time to wake up and it’s ready to do so. When you hit the snooze button and fall back asleep, you lose this alertness and wake up later, tired and groggy. Worst of all, this grogginess can take hours to wear off. So no matter how tired you think you are when your alarm clock goes off, force yourself out of bed if you want to have a productive morning.

7. Multitasking.


Multitasking is a real productivity killer. Research confirms that multitasking is less productive than doing a single thing at a time. The researchers found that people who are regularly bombarded with several streams of electronic information cannot pay attention, recall information, or switch from one job to another as well as those who complete one task at a time. When you try to do two things at once, your brain lacks the capacity to perform both tasks successfully.

But what if some people have a special gift for multitasking? The researchers compared groups of people, based on their tendency to multitask and their belief that it helps their performance. They found that heavy multitaskers—those who multitasked a lot and felt that it boosted their performance—were actually worse at multitasking than those who liked to do a single thing at a time. The frequent multitaskers performed worse because they had more trouble organizing their thoughts and filtering out irrelevant information, and they were slower at switching from one task to another. Ouch!


8. Putting off tough tasks. 

We have a limited amount of mental energy, and as we exhaust this energy, our decision-making and productivity decline rapidly. This is called decision fatigue. When you put off tough tasks till late in the day because they’re intimidating, you save them for when you’re at your worst. To beat decision fatigue, you must tackle complex tasks in the morning when your mind is fresh.

Bitcoin price drops below $6,200

Bitcoin plunged 20 percent to a three-month low on Tuesday, its latest sharp loss following a series of setbacks for the cryptocurrency that, with a collapse across global mainstream markets adding to the selling.

The virtual currency fell to $6,190 for the first time since mid-November, according to Bloomberg News, and represents the latest hammering for a unit that saw a stratospheric 26-fold rise last year.

Tuesday’s collapse comes just six weeks after bitcoin hit a record high of $19,511, fuelled by a flood of speculators looking to make a quick buck, with warnings it could fall another 50 percent.

Since those heady days the cryptomarket — which includes dozens of other units — has been pounded by news of crackdowns by governments including in China, Russia and South Korea, one of the biggest markets for the sector.

On Thursday, India said it would “take all measures to eliminate” cryptocurrencies’ use as part of a payment system and in funding illegitimate activities, while Japanese authorities raided a virtual currency exchange after it lost $530 million to hackers.

Central bank in Europe, Japan and the United States have also flagged concerns about the unit and this week saw several commercial lenders say they would stop allowing their customers to buy bitcoin through their credit cards owing to debt concerns.

Stephen Innes, head of trading for Asia Pacific at Oanda, said “the dynamics behind the moves are regulatory clampdowns and investors losing confidence in crypto”.

The sell-off on Tuesday was exacerbated by crushing losses on world stock markets, with the Dow on Wall Street suffering its biggest one-day points loss and wiping out all its 2018 gains.

The global rout comes as panicked investors fret over rising US borrowing costs, leading them to cash in profits after a stellar couple of months that have seen many indexes hit record or all-time highs.

Equities have enjoyed months of surges fuelled by optimism over the US economy, corporate earnings and the global outlook.

But while traders have been piling into equities, pushing many global indexes to record or multi-year highs, there has been growing concern on trading floors about elevated US Treasury bond yields — at four-year highs — and the likelihood of fresh Federal Reserve interest rate hikes.

“The risk-off tone is hitting Bitcoin almost as hard as a global regulator and bank scrutiny,” said Greg McKenna, chief market strategist at AxiTrader. “The latest dent to the Cryptospace has been banks saying they are shutting down the ability of clients to buy bitcoin with their cards.”

“This could end up a full round trip back into the $1,850/$2,966 region.”